Keeping A Relationship Open And Honest
AdventureDad | June 21Foxy Wife and myself consider our relationship to be quite normal but most friends say we have a very open relationship. We’re no swingers, don’t cheat or fool around, and have been together for a very long time. But being married with kids doesn’t mean one can’t have fun? Or does it?
I’m flying down many weekends this summer to play professional tennis in Germany. Last weekend I went out in the evening with a friend to watch a game in the 2008 European Soccer Championships. I know my friend for a couple of years and she has a serious boyfriend. She’s also 24 years old and very hot. For us it was nothing more than a couple of drinks, some friendly chatting, and watching soccer but some friends had other views ”Are you getting a divorce?” “You went out with another girl?”, ” Did you get a blowjob?”, “Which hotel did you go to?”, “Does your wife know?”, “Are you crazy?”, “I’ll do you a favor and won’t mention it to your wife.”
I consider it silly to be married, have two children, but not be able to talk to another woman. Is that really too much trust to ask for?
Of course I told my wife and she didn’t care. And I don’t care when she does the same. Maybe it’s because we’re honest with each other. But I’ve found this to be a sensitive subject for most couples.
In your relationship, is having a friend of the opposite an issue? Must having a couple drinks with a friend who is hot imply sex? And is it only me who think a woman is a better friend than a man?
Jealousy has more to do with personal issues than context, IMHO. Being aware that people can be friends without rubbing parts is part of an evolved relationship.
[…] Jealousy Can Destroy A Relationship I ran across a great little piece at The Blog Fathers. The post poses a sensitive question for most couples - will jealousy rear its ugly head by your having a friend of the opposite sex? […]
This is an age old question. I’ve worked in social services and early childhood education for some time now and I tend to meet a lot of women. I hang out with none of them at this point and stay in touch through occasional emails. My best friend is a woman (my wife likes her) and I have always preferred the company of women. My wife is not even close to being the jealous type but I don’t want her to be either so I avoid new friendships.
I have a wonderful husband. He’s my best friend in the world. We’ve been married forever. We have a bunch of kids. We’re very happy together. All that being true, I have a terrific male friend, also happily married. We’ve been buddies for 9 years. He’s totally gorgeous. And I love him like a brother. Is it okay? Of course. We’re married, not enslaved or dead! People assuming sex is their guilt and unhappiness coming out, not an indictment of my, or your, friendship.
A friend of mine once told me that his pastor once said, “Every relationship between a man and a woman, even if it’s only a “friendship”, began with an attraction of some sort.”
Just something to think about.
Clearly any relationship between ANY two people (regardless of their gender or preference) begins with an attraction of some sort. Attraction in itself isn’t illicit - it’s the root of all friendships, and it often has nothing to do with sexuality. I think your pastor’s implication is wrong.
I have many male friends and my husband has many female friends. We’re ALL friends - and if I end up having lunch with a male friend or co-worker - no one cares because we trust each other.
Y’all are kidding yourselves. A friend (of the opposite sex if your straight) is someone you haven’t fucked yet. Plain and simple. The pastor is right, you’re playing with fire.
Ditto to the last two comments. Ya damn skippy. The only close male friends I have had have all been gay! The whole soccer game and drinks shit is some BS. I wouldn’t have it and my husband definitley would not be cool with me doing it either.
We don’t have to be ruled by our gonads. However, most people seem to be… If you can’t hang out with someone of the opposite gender without thinking of screwing them, you need to grow up…
We don’t have to be ruled by our gonads. However, most people seem to be… If you can’t hang out with someone of the opposite gender without thinking of screwing them, perhaps you need to look at the reason why…