Are you up for a Daddy Daycare?
Child's Play x2 | June 4I ran across an interesting post today about the notion that a man would be at a disadvantage if he ran his own daycare. The issue being that people simply do not trust men to provide childcare to their own children. At the end, the author poses the question, “Would you take your children to a full-time stay-at-home-dad for in-home childcare?”
I think this question is such an interesting one because even though I am a male, work for an organization that provides childcare and employ many male childcare providers, even I hesitated for a split second when I read that question.
In the end, of course I would send my child to a male daycare provider, but the fact that I had to think about it simply because he was male (as also happened to a commenter of the post I am referring to), makes me stop and think about how we perceive the role of men and women in our society.
Men are often not seen as nurturers and, even worse, are looked upon as being potential predators of children. Even in non-childcare settings, if I don’t have my children with me and happen to come across a mother and child, I can sense a certain tension that I don’t believe would be there were I a woman.
While men have come a long way in contributing to the family in the past 10 years (doing a greater percentage of household chores, spending more time with children) it is apparent we have a long ways to go before being seen as equals in the parenting/provider world.
The irony, of course, is that for decades women have been striving to be seen as equals in the work world having to battle sexism, glass ceilings and lower pay. As women have made great strides (although not true equality, by any means) towards equality in the work place, it seems that men must now embark down the road of equality in the home.
What do you think?
My daughter attends a very large daycare center, managed by an even larger corporation. All of the teachers are female. All of the management (that we’ve met) are female, though there are some men further up the corporate ladder).
And honestly, I woudldn’t have it any other way. I know that is grossly unfair, biased, bigoted, and sexist to feel that way. It has nothing to do with the fact that I think men are not competent in this area. They certainly are. My husband is an awesome father (a fact that my own father has noted many times), and quite frankly, I think he’s changed more diapers than I have because of the way we’ve split our roles.
It’s the predator thing for me. I just can’t get beyond that fear.
I am a father first, a husband second and an individual…last. I kill myself for my family and for the past few weeks, my 4 year old daughter has been suffering some major papisitos (can’t get enough dad!). Hell, for the past 3 and half years!!
I have issues with the way fathers (men in general) are portrayed in TV. Acording to shows and commercials, we are idiots, we are lazy and we couldn’t survive without a womans help. I’m not saying that all TV is out to portray men as the 3 Stooges rolled-up into one. There are examples that show men as nurturing thinking people.
I have to admit that I would be a bit hesitant in sending my daughter to a daycare that was run by men. I like to think that I could get beyond that and base my opinion on the facts. But one of the reasons for this is because of the way we raise our kids and how we were raised. If you look at an elementary schoolyard during recess, you will see most if not all of the boys playing roughly with each other and most of not all of the girls playing together in a civilized manner.
What to do……….
I think I would hesitate a bit, but in the end I think I would feel comfortable with a man. I would just be looking for the same things in a child-care provider. The babysitter our children go to gets a lot of help from her husband (he’s a police officer and works the evening shift). The kids love having him around and I know it makes her job easier.
As to the gains women have made versus men…You have made a good point. I’ve noticed it in my elementary school students. Girls can wear just about any clothing of any color, play sports, run around at recess, be good at science, etc. Boys can’t wear pink, play with dolls, and such. I don’t know how long that lasts. I would guess that it changes in middle school or high school with the girls feeling more restricted as well.
Equality in home IS a lot of work and if men want to be seen a equal regarding kids and chores, they definetly have to work for it. I mean, women do to, but it’s not as apparent since women have been doing it for years and years.
Daddy daycare would make me hesitant. BUT I would do the same as any other at home provider and sit down with them. Spend a day with them and the kids, get refferrals, etc etc.
While men are certainly looked at differently, you can’t necessarilly put it past a woman either to commit crimes, especially with children. There have been a few cases in my area where a woman has abducted a child simply because she couldn’t have her own. Another woman performed a C section on a woman to steal her baby. And I actually live in a pretty nice area.
Equality in the home I’m all for. But I wouldn’t drop my son and especially not my daughter at an all male day care. We asked my sons preschool about male teachers and bathroom trips out of concern. They are not allowed because of insurance purposes, but also because of general feelings of discomfort.
We personally know too many men that were sexually or physically abused by a male close to them. And often it was a male no other adults ever suspected. We might not hear about it with women, but I’m confident that God made women more nurturing for younger children. This is easily seen in my family where I am way more patient generally than my wife, but she has way more patience with our toddler.
Wouldn’t do the all male child care.
My son’s child-care has 1 full time male employee and 1 regular male substitute involved in all aspects and all ages at the center. As an aside the regular teacher is African American. The center is owned by a husband/wife team and the staff is primarily female.
I have no issues with my son, who is 18mos old, being diapered, fed, rocked or in any other way cared for by any of the 3 guys who work there. They all had to pass the same background, finger-print, etc. that the ladies did.
I appreciate I like that he is not afraid of men any more of less than he is generally anxious of strangers.
Good posing question. Definitely makes the mind think a bit about reality instead of the Hollywood depicted “Daddy Day Care”.
I wish I could say that I would be comfortable in sending my child to an all-male day care but I am not. However, I do acknowledge that there are female predators as well but they are just under the normal radar! I’ve seen local news reporting one just a few months back and in an upper-middle class neighborhood. YIKES!
I do wish that day care has more male influence as in more day care teachers instead of just 100% female teachers. I don’t mind having men as day care providers but just don’t want an all or nothing option. Male teaches play and interact differently that children can definitely benefit from it! Plus they provide role models for the next generation and hopefully can open up my kind of mindset.
I am a middle school counselor and I primarily work with the boys at my 900+ school. I see the affects of missing dads in the their lives and the lives of their female peers. It is heart wrenching. In light of this, after seeing Eddie Murphy’s, Daddy Daycare, I thought, “What a great idea.” Many children need positive male role models and a daycare would be a great way to offer this. The movie portrayed many of the sentiments mentioned here. Despite the need, when you posed your question, I too hesitated. This has a great deal to do with our perception of men and their role in the home. We usually cock our eye at the notion of stay at home dad’s and a daddy daycare would get the same response. However, we need them both. I think a good daycare run by dads is a great idea. It would take a lot of convincing, but I like the thought of my three year old son making sling shots instead of paper plate flowers.
I asked at our daycare why there were no men–it seems men are not licensed the same way as women. It would cost them more to be licensed if they had men working there. I really wish there were some men working there, though. Men bring so much to child-rearing.
Women abuse and molest too, you know.
I trust men I know as much as women for babysitting. For girl children and boy children.
I can’t believe people assume men who are nurturing are pedophiles.
Our daycare (a large corporation, with a center located in my work building) has employed a few young men as teaching assistants. Typically they are either the sons of daycare workers at the center, or college students studying education. I had never heard about licensing/insurance issues until reading these comments; that’s rather interesting. At any rate, I’m glad our daycare chose to give the guys a chance; I feel that my son benefits from their different style.
Regarding at-home daycare, or a babysitter, I’d need lots of references for either a male or a female. My preference would be a person well-known by someone I trust. It’s always a tough decision. If a dad were to start his own daycare, I think he’d need a good network of friends with kids to start out with.
I am a male, registered child care provider and I have experienced some of the sterotypical thoughts in your blogs. While, I myself would be somewhat hesitant to send my child or grand child to an all male facility, I do agree that men have to pass the same classes and background checks as the females and with any facility, you have to do a meet and greet with the providers at the facility in order to determine if it offers waht you are looking for and decide whether it meets your expectations for what you want for your child. I think that a well rounded facility would employ a proportionate number of male to females so the child is exposed to both strengths of both sexes. I go to the same classes as the females; I am the only male in the classes at this time.
My husband is phemonmonal. And we’re looking at opening a daycare center. I’ll start the business then my husband will help me. But i have to admitt that it isn’t the norm. He loves kids and has always helped with my kids. So to him this is natural. He doesn’t even see the dangers of him helping me with the daycare. So I put my stereo types to the back burner and let him be involved. Parents love him and the kids adore him…so I say that men should be more involved in the daycare/teacher roles. For they have a bad stigma and need to be a part of children’s development in positive influences.
My husband is phemonmonal. And we’re looking at opening a daycare center. I’ll start the business then my husband will help me. But i have to admitt that it isn’t the norm. He loves kids and has always helped with my kids. So to him this is natural. He doesn’t even see the dangers of him helping me with the daycare. So I put my stereo types to the back burner and let him be involved. Parents love him and the kids adore him…so I say that men should be more involved in the daycare/teacher roles. For they have a bad stigma and need to be a part of children’s development in positive influences.