Kids Not Behaving - Go On Strike
AdventureDad | February 22There are days when I feel like quitting. When this whole parenting/family thing combined with everything else just gets to me. When this happens I try to get a few minutes alone, think of others who face real problems, and then just carry on. But there’s apparently another creative solution. Go on Strike!
Go on strike is exactly what one Florida mother of four did over a month ago. Reason? She could not control her four teenage children.
According to a charging affidavit, Dean said the children needed to start cleaning up and stop fighting and that she had no control over them. Dean also said she was fed up with being run over in her own home and having no privacy, according to the affidavit.
I don’t know the whole background but the mother must have some issues. Still, I find her “strike” solution creative in a stupid kind of way. She obviously did not read the fine print which comes with the birth of every child. My own contract clearly states that I have no privacy, not even in the bathroom, and that I my mission in life is being a superb father. The fine print continues for another 17 pages, I’m sure you’ve got a similar contract.
Is there anything a parent can do to avoid seeing going on strike as the only option? I spend an enormous amount of time with my kids, I need short blocks of private time here and there to stay fresh. For me it’s also crucial to work out a lot and stay active. Perhaps most important to me is also to find a good balance between kids and life. Living only for the kids doesn’t really work for me, I need other things in my life as well. Might sound selfish I know.
Maybe you need something completely different, it’s unimportant as long as it works well. Avoid going on strike, the kids deserve a lot better.
I think it’s important to have you a life, besides your kids. I love being a mom, but I don’t want that to be Christie, the mom. I think it’s important for your sanity, as well as the kids.
I can only imagine those other kids, going wild, too. Mom goes away and leaves the kids to run free and run a muck. What the heck would have happened if one of those kids got really hurt? It’s one thing to take 10 minutes to yourself when you feel like your going to throw a brick through a window but another to only stay at home on night a week.
People, there are other alternatives!
Striking is not a good option, but it’s fine to set aside time for yourself. Just don’t go overboard. I got a buddy who plays basketball all the time and is constantly pawning his two kids off on his parents to babysit. Every week day he is at the gym and on the weekends he’s attending a game, refereeing a game, or playing in one. The kids don’t know what it’s like to come home have dinner, and do homework.
Part of “living for your kids” is living. To put it another way, I’d be a mess if it weren’t for the occasional sleepover at great grandma’s, or the overnight jaunt to Atlantic City with the wife. I think I’m a better dad because I know when to step back for a few hours and just be Keith.
I could (and have) written page-long essays on this subject. In short, I don’t believe that men can be expected to short-circuit a million years of wiring in a matter of two or three decades, which is exactly what has been asked of us since the times of the Brady family and Father Knows Best. One could argue that women have simply moved their expertise into the working world–that for them, the work hasn’t changed, only the application has. For those lucky enough (and yes, I use “lucky”) to have a husband who pulls his weight parentally, then if anything, their role has been simplified. On the flipside, men are being asked to do something completely different–something that most of our fathers didn’t model for us and we’re having to pick this parenting thing up on the fly. Sure we’re used to delegating and working, but it’s in a controlled environment, something that raising children has never been equated with.
But change we have, at least many of us have, and I don’t think there’s a guy out there who won’t admit that it’s hard. My saving grace is a wife who understands this about me and who gives me the time I need; even pushes me to take it when I feel guilty doing so. I also work out and while this helps me feel “good” about myself, it does little for my mental state, which only quiet time or doing something productive with my hands can fix.
I count my blessings at having found a woman who is willing to give me the time I need. And for this, I’ll gladly cook dinner, do the laundry and clean the bathrooms. It’s not what I envisioned for myself, but for sanity’s sake I’ll take it.
Good luck to you.
-Dobe
I think taking time “off” for yourself and teaching morals and respect are one thing but striking? Come on now, you made the choice to be a parent you can’t decide not to be one just because things aren’t going your way.