Open Mouth Insert Foot
AdventureDad | January 18Congratulating women on their pregnancy is a nice feeling. The woman can look forward to a wonderful baby and becoming a parent. But what if there’s no baby? I just overheard this very painful conversation:
Silly Father: “Congratulations!”
Woman: “Ehhh….?
Silly Father: “Congratulations on the baby of course! How does it feel!?
Woman: “I….. don’t really know what to say…”
Silly Father: “When are you due? Got names picked out already?
Woman: “There is no baby, I’m not pregnant. I’ve just put on a little weight lately….”
Silly Father: “Uhhhhh….”
What a painful moment to watch. I wasn’t the Silly Father, I learned a valuable lesson many years ago from my wife. She was talking to a girl and congratulated her on the coming baby. Only problem was there was no baby coming. My wife is funny and get along with anyone. She just shook it off and continued talking. But I learned back then never to say anything unless I know for sure.
I know how painful this situation can be and that’s why I was shocked at the airport when my wife was three months pregnant with our daughter. She had no belly and there was no way to notice a pregnancy. But as we stepped up to the airline counter the woman immediately asked about our pregnancy and what week my wife was in. What an incredibly brave (and silly) woman I thought to myself.
Have you ever done the Silly Father mistake?
Hell no. Unless I KNOW the woman is pregnant or MAYBE if the woman is so clearly pregnant that you just can’t go wrong I would rather be considered rude in the rare case that the woman is looking for comments (I don’t think this has ever happened in my experience) than be the SUPER rude idiot who might as well yell out “HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS FATTY!! SHE LOOKS PREGNANT!”
NEVER. EVER. Do not congratulate pregnant women unless you KNOW for a fact.
My wife has been “congratulated” several times. Just don’t do it.
I haven’t made the mistake, but I’ve been on the receiving end of it. I was in a checkout about 1 1/2 months after I had my son, and the checkout clerk asked when I was due. I stammered “Uh, two months ago…” and pointed to my son (who was sleeping in his carseat on the cart). She felt really bad but I told her not to - I did look pregnant, after all. I guess that’s not really the same thing as the situation you described, but it definitely spurred me to bust a move on my post-pregnancy exercise routine.
My rule of thumb: don’t assume a woman is pregnant unless she is actually and actively in labour.
funny,
a lady asked one of my coworkers that today and then said that it looked like the shirt she was wearing was a maternity one…she didn’t even apologize after….I think that once your foot is in your mouth, it is difficult to mutter an apology around it.
You might as well tell her that yes, in fact, that article of clothing DOES make you look fat.
My 4 year old girl just asked a good (non pregnant) friend of ours if she was pregnant. Our friend had a good laugh. Probably not the same reaction I would have received.
I have been on the receiving end many times too-a few months after each kid was born. It is embarrassing for both people. I don’t really talk to people that I don’t know (ie…I’m NOT the lady striking up conversations in the check out line), so I personally have never been the one with my foot in my mouth, but depending on my mood, I either try to make the foot-eater feel really bad about it or just pretend I’m pregnant-they won’t know either way…
I asked if the breast milk was chocolate flavored.
Oh, I’ve been on the receiving end. Unfortunately there is a generation gap issue due to the fact that empire-waist swing tops were in style during the last year or so, and people over 60 didn’t realize it. I thought I looked really nice in my new top until my 60-something uncle asked me if I was “expecting another one”. On another occasion, my 60-year-old mother-in-law asked me why so many women who aren’t pregnant are wearing maternity tops.
Upon reflection, perhaps it was a fashion trend that should never have been…
I said when is the Baby Due. Ouch!