You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch
Child's Play x2 | December 13Today, on my way into work, I was tuned into the local morning radio show and the deejays began a segment by asking people to call in if their parents ever followed through with the “If you’re not good, Santa won’t bring you any presents” threat.
And boy did they call in. Not only people who had it happen to them, but those who are planning on doing it this year. One parent, fed up with her seven-year-old’s constant trouble making, planned on giving him his presents on Christmas morning and then taking them away right afterward and returning them to the store.
One of the morning deejays is a devoted father himself and he took the woman to task. He told her that if she had been consistent in her discipline over the years that she wouldn’t have this problem and that a one-time, very extreme, gesture like this will certainly make a short-term impact but do little to change his attitude over the long haul.
Everyone on the show agreed that this woman had gone too far. You don’t mess with Christmas.
I can’t imagine ever doing that to a child. That is one of those things that could scar a child for life. What do you think? Has this ever happened to you? Or, have you ever played the Grinch to your child?
I don’t recall it ever happening to me or one of my sibs growing up, and I don’t think I would have the heart to pull it off now with my four kids. At least not the “Big Guy’s” gifts. I have to believe Santa is very forgiving, so unless something VERY BAD happened VERY CLOSE to Christmas and thereno time to get back in good graces I couldn’t mess with that.
I could, in theory, see us withholding gifts from Mom & Dad if things weren’t up to snuff. But even that seems a bit extreme.
My parents tried that threat when we were kids, but we always received gifts, regardless of how terrible we had been that year. Kids figure it out. We still tell our kids that “Santa is watching” and my daughter believes that he has a crystal ball that allows him to check on them now and then, but I’m not sure how good it does. We had a year when my daughter was particularly ill-tempered on Christmas Eve, and we debated putting a lump of coal in her stocking as a warning, and then following up with her real gifts later that same day. But in the end, we decided to let it slide and enjoy the holiday. It wasn’t worth missing the joyous expression on her face, just to “stick it to her” for her holiday behavioral faux pas. Everybody gets stressed around the holidays - even kids.
One Christmas when I was around 9 years old I got the Grinch treatment but only in my stocking. My stocking held a single piece of coal and nothing else. Admittedly I screwed up pretty good (bad) right before Christmas (as PG mentions) and this was the justified punishment.
I could never do anything like this to any of my kids.
That woman’s plan seems very extreme. I agree that something is wrong with the overall discipline to allow her child’s behavior to get to a level where she thinks that will work. She needs therapy.
While I was certainly raised to believe that Santa did not bring presents to misbehaving kids, I didn’t have to “behave” to receive presents from my parents on Christmas. I received presents form them because they loved me. Nothing more simple or complicated than that.
I think everything about the mother’s plan sounds vindictive and mean. I have no idea what would be the point of giving presents and taking them away, except to teach your child that you are untrustworthy and cruel, and that loving you comes with a price. One can only imagine how that affects future relationships and the ability to trust.
Does it count if I did it to my sister? One year (I must have been about 12 & she 10)I got the biggest box that I could find and put another box inside of that one. Then another inside of that one, another inside of that one… and so on. All said & done I used about 10 boxes. The last box was about the size of a ring box and inside of it was a penny.
She had the last laugh, though, because that was the same year that she wrapped up her boogies in a ziplock bag and gave them to me.
That seems so mean, to not give a kid presents. I bet it would really mess up a kid.
When I was 7 or 8 years old Santa did not bring me anything for Christmas. I had been really awful that year (talking back to parents and teachers, lied about some really big stuff, cheated on a test or two) The only gifts I got were from my grandparents and after Santa didn’t leave anything I wanted to give those back because I realized how terrible I had been.
My twins are 9 months old….I have no idea if I could do that to them. I guess it all depends on how bad they have been. You never really know how your going to parent until you reach the place where you have to make that kind of decision.
Kids get absolutely crazy and really push your buttons more often than not some days but taking away Christmas is just unthinkable. I do think that parents use the “santa is watching” line way too much and for way too long though, after a while of hearing it it completely loses it’s meaning for kids and also gets very tiresome for the other adults who have to hear it too!
My parents never threatened to take away Christmas from me. I never worried about whether or not Santa would bring me gifts.
Maybe I should mention I’m Jewish. ; )
However, I think witholding a holiday from a child is heinous. Even if a child majorly messes up, there are other ways to discipline which would require far less therapy later!
One year my son opened several small presents early. I made him donate those gifts to Toys for Tots. But he got the rest of his Christmas and never did it again.
Sounds like a stupid idea to me but I’ve never really believed in punishment that way. I’m more into talking things through with my children and that way make them understand different situations.
I have told my son at times I would throw stuff away unless he picked it up but involving Christmas in this seems desperate. If a parent needs to involve such strong actions as screwing around with christmas, I think they’ve done a horrible job.
I personally hate Christmas but wouldn’t want to ruin it for our kids. They get extremely few presents but it’s still a very nice tradition.
Parents should take responsibility for disciplining their kids, not leave it up to Santa, or the police for that matter (”Johnny, if you don’t behave that policeman over there is going to take you to jail!”), or anyone else.
Just linked to you from my blog.
Did you hear about the guy who sold his son’s present on EBay?
No, I’ve never done it or had it done to me. I have, however, confiscated toys during the year after repeated nagging.
That’s crazy. My father threatened us with that one year — we had spent most of Christmas morning loudly walking back and forth outside my parent’s bedroom in hopes that they’d get up — but at about twelve, I didn’t buy it. If all the presents were going to be thrown out next time we did that, it meant that his gifts would be thrown out too.
I nearly called his bluff.
There will be plenty of opportunities for us to scar our children for life, and Christmas probably shouldn’t be one of them. However once all the great presents are open and in use, and a few days have passed all bets are off. Those gifts go into the discipline arsenal and can be confiscated as punishment and returned when improvement is noted and/or a reasonable amount of time has passed.
Yikes, that’s mean! :(
It happened to my brother, under ten yrs old-he had been warned tht if he kept up X heinous behavior, he wasnt getting anything for christmas. And they followed through-a box of socks and underwear. I do not remember how he reacted…but I can say hes the less-than-successful kid in the family. I cant say if it was good or bad, other than my parents following through on a threat, which IS important. But I cant imagine it did him any long term good.
I agree, this woman needs some counseling. I can see holding back gifts, or returning gifts prior to giving them. To give the gifts, then take them back for things done in the past is reason to believe that she’s vindictive, and you should not be vindictive toward your child. That relationship may not be salvagable, though, if she’s going that far!
One year I snooped - okay, every year I snooped. One year I FOUND what I was snooping for - new street hockey equipment for me and my brother! I was 13, I think. I told the kid down the street about how cool my gifts were going to be, and word got back to my family. Yeah, my brother got his, and I was told that I could have mine three weeks later.
I got other gifts, but it was very clear that I had done wrong. I think that punishment was apropriate. Had they wrapped it, handed it to me and then taken it all away, I can’t imagine what I would have done to retaliate!
HOLY COW. I just re-read your post. The kid is SEVEN YEARS OLD! That woman needs a friend to vent to, not a kid to take out her anger on.
I would never. Ever. It makes me nauseous just thinking about it. Possible psychological damage is not discipline.
I do, however (snicker) slide a piece of (char)coal into my son’s stocking if he’s having a particularly wicked holiday season. Not every year, just the few he’s needed the reminder. He still gets the regular stocking stuffers and all the usual gifts, but a small piece of coal among the usual contents, as a reminder does tend to work. So far, anyway! ;-)
This is the second story of this nature that I have heard about this year, and they totally disgust me. Yes, I can see (though I have yet to actually use), the “Santa is watching” ploy. But it is A BLUFF!!! Nothing more.
Parent’s like this have got a serious screw loose! I mean not giving would be bad enough, but to give and take away (to return) is nothing short of insanity.
I can’t imagine giving and then taking them back. Why not just leave a note is a box that says “you don’t deserve anything because of your behavior — try again next year.”
Or buy the kid underwear. I hated that as a kid!
Oy - Bossy’s heart just shrunk two sizes.
Hey, nice blog! I like it. I can’t believe that anyone would do that to their kids on Christmas. Someone ought to shave her head with a cheese grater.
I teach 8th grade English, and for some reason our school always schedules parent-teacher conferences during the week or two before Christmas break. Year after year, things are always the same. You tell the parents that their son (it’s almost always the son) is acting like a jackass or failing, and the parents turn to the child — in unison, as if they practiced it on the car ride over — “You can forget about Christmas. That PlayStation you asked for? It’s going back to the store. You can forget about that.” It’s not my job to tell these parents how to raise their children, but the voice in my head scolds them sternly. Taking away Christmas is somehow supposed to make up for fourteen years of inconsistent parenting? Mainly I think these parents are using the Christmas blackmail because they think it makes them look good. They think I’m impressed because they’re doing something about their problem child, they think their friends will be impressed because they’re drawing such a hard line in the sand, and they probably even think the people at the store will be impressed that they’re such hard asses. Sadly, these are the conferences that end up being a waste of my time.