The Blogfathers

..don’t ever stop. Take a trip alone or with the wife and you will never want to bring the kids again…….. Before me and the boss had kids we talked through how we wanted to raise our kids. For many years. When the time came we wanted to keep living life and having fun but include our children as well.

There was never any talk about leaving the kids with relatives, we didn’t have kids to leave them behind. As nice as it is to have children around, don’t ever travel alone again. “Oh dear God, I’m never bringing the kids along again”", is always the thought going through my mind today when I occasionally sit alone on a flight with iPod, laptop, movie and a glass of wine.

As I sat on the plane last night I thought to myself. How can a one hour bus ride, two hour flight, one hour car ride, and then immediately two hours of hard practice on a tennis court seem like heaven? And how can another 15 hours of running my ass off on the tennis court in 90 degree heat for the next three days seem like vacation? How can a trip that’s so exhausting still seem like a vacation?

The answer is easy. Having children is simply incredibly hard work. At least if you want to do a good job. Getting a break from it all is a vacation, regardless of circumstance.

We probably travel a bit more than the average family but I’m never amazed over how much we and the kids learn on each trip. Both about ourselves and our surroundings. Until today we’ve done around 40 flights although we slowed down after our daughter was born 11 months ago. Her colic, acid reflux, and patience similar to John McEnroe (which is zero) didn’t seem ideal for travel. But she’s now done 10-15 flights and actually does quite well. Maybe she’s taking after her 3 year old brother, our travel champion. Our first flight with him was an 8 hour flight to NYC at age 3 months and it has always been a pleasure bringing him along.

Children are great, bring them along on your trips. It will bring you memories for life. Good and bad. But who has only good memories with the kids? Our ratio of good/bad is currently 40 good and one bad. Most of our trips have been fantastic but we did have that one 24 hour nightmare difficult trip. But that’s the kind of experience that reveals how you’re really doing with the kids. Can you and the children remain calm when everything goes wrong? Do you still love your child when there is a flight delay of three days, turbulence, cramped seating, barfing, ear infection, and she has shit that filled up the diaper and overflowed to her neck?

I think many first time parents today are a bit naive when it comes to parenting. They expect it to be so easy. The truth is of course that being a great parent is freaking hard, even if your child is an angel. My personal approach to parenting has always been to expect the worst. With both our kids, I was ready for sleepless nights and an incredibly tough time. Forever. First time around was a walk in the park, second time around has been tough, but at least it didn’t kill my desire for children. The difficult one is coming around nicely and we’re thinking about a possible third nightmare gift from heaven.

I know that many parents have terrible fear of bringing the kids along on long flights. Don’t worry, chances are great you will do just fine. If not, things will go better next time. Be prepared that flying with your young children is much tougher than traveling alone or with your partner (understatement of the year). Forget wine, movies, laptop, and three hour naps. Say hello to memories that will test your relationship with the kids but undoubtedly make it stronger than ever.

Parenting Challenges, Family Fun!