Daddy’s Little Helper
LA Daddy | April 1
L.A. Mommy bought our household one of those spiffy Dyson vacuum cleaners for our humble abode. Because we had to take out a 3rd mortgage to afford this contraption, the company felt sorry for us and sent us a toy version of the vacuum cleaner. L.A. Toddler pushes it around and 78 double-A batteries power a little wind tunnel inside that spins colored balls around like it actually works.
Since my wife is knocked up again, and I watched a whole buttload of basketball yesterday (Go Bucks!), I decided to help out with some cleaning chores today. I was running the vacuum all around the house when I turned around to discover my daughter was following along behind me, running her toy cleaner.
In an instant, my heart swelled with pride! My beautiful daughter was chipping in, doing her part, learning how to help out — without having to be tortured asked!
That lasted all of about 34 seconds…
When I asked her to help out even more by getting her toys out of my way, she refused. I think she even tossed out a few more to make my job harder. She ended up leaving her toy Dyson in a spot where I had to move it to vacuum the floor underneath. She decided that grabbing the cats tail and rubbing his fur the wrong way was more interesting than helping out dear old dad.
I can tell I’m going to have a fight on my hands with her. Because she’s just like me. I’m the type who is willing to help out — as long as I do what I want, when I want. When you assign me a task, I lose interest and go off to harass the cat.
What she doesn’t realize is that, besides the obvious tax benefit, the only reason I had a child was so someone else could take out the garbage and mow the lawn! Of course, I’m having a hard time finding a lawn mower short enough for a three year old…
I was hoping she’d end up with her mother’s work ethic but no such luck. We’ll probably go round and round for the next 15 years on doing chores and cleaning rooms. I just have to accept that fact and move on. To get back at her, we’re thinking about moving to a cold, Northern climate so that she can also experience the joys of shoveling snow.
Yesterday, THREE was helping me vacuum the house with our Dyson, while ONE followed behind with her battery powered Pottery Barn vacuum. Thank god the PB vacuum was a gift, because anything from PB costs at least as much as a Dyson.
And i just can’t wait until they can get me a beer once in a while.
GET OUT…a Dyson kids version, mine only had the red Dirt Devil…actually my two older ones only had the Little Tykes green, white & yellow one.
I tend to be the one that waits until the last 5 minutes before guests arrive and then SHAZZAM the house is clean. Because having 4 kids to delegate rooms to is the only way I can get things done.
It’s called NEGOTIATION!
“Mommy, I’ll clean the kitchen for instant messenger time!”
“Mommy, I cleaned the kitchen basement, made my bed and switched the load to the dryer,
Can I go to Ryan’s?”
You have to figure out your negotiating tactics!
I have to get me a cat - so I have something to harass when I lose interest in doing housework. It would have to be a very tolerant cat.
And - make sure you do the math on that “kids are a tax benefit” thing before you churn out any more. Over the course of 18 years you’ll invest $1.2 million per kid… and be able to claim approximately $37 in tax benefits. No really.
Mom always said that we were always willing, until able. I’m hoping that trait skips a generation.
I’ve been trying to strike a deal with someone all winter. If you want to give her a shot at shoveling snow we’d be happy to trade houses from next December through about March. I’ll let you think about it.
OK I’m jealous — I begged and begged for my Dyson, finally got one, just to have my daughter “help” me use it. Needless to say, it’s been vacuuming the same spot in our family room for the last few months! I wish I could have gotten a pint sized version too!
You guys have Dysons?! I got tricked into buying a “Tyson” from some guy on the corner. It tried to attack me while I was putting it into the closet, so I bought a Kenmore.
Oddly enough, I’m something of a vacuum cleaner aficionado (yet I hate to clean… weird) and we also have the Dyson (Animal).
It. Is. The. Greatest.
We bought the best Hoover on the market (based on the Consumer Reports… report), used it for two weeks and it broke. Took it back to the big box electronics store we bought from and traded it in on the Dyson (which Consumer Reports said wasn’t great).
I won’t read Consumer Reports anymore.
PS I’ve also got a thing for irons… also weird, but i do like to iron. More specifically, I don’t like the way other people iron.
A kid’s version of the Dyson? How could we get that? Was it just promotional for those buying Dysons at a certain time?
We also have the Dyson Animal and I agree with the previous comment: The. Greatest. My 2 year old son has a kid vacuum, but it’s a Hoover and I feel vaguely guilty about that. Like we’re cheating on our Dyson somehow. (When brand loyalty gets weird, next at 11.)