Not Fit To Be A Parent
AdventureDad | October 31Some people are clearly not suitable as parents. Why they ever decided to have kids is beyond me. I try to avoid reading sad stories but there are too many to avoid them all. I’m genuinely interested in the thought process beyond these horrible acts. There is nothing special on my mind but it just seems strange to have children when the only thing you want to do is hurt them or even take their life. Just lately we have the story of swinging a 4-week baby as a weapon, the mother who killed her one year old by putting cocaine in her baby formula, and the mother who let her daughter be sexually abused for years. She even held her daughters hand for comfort during the sexual abuse. Fucking parents.
I know it’s a stupid thought but there really should be some kind of parental license to sort out all these sick people. It’s obvious that all people can’t even begin to handle the responsibility of having children and trying to at least do a half decent job raising them. I feel bad when I forget to brush my son’s teeth at night, don’t let him eat sweets during the week, or give him crappy hot dogs for dinner. Hopefully I’ll keep my “abuse” on that level as the kids grow older as well. Some parents have been abused themselves as kids but that should hardly be an excuse for acting the same way. I have so many questions I would like to ask these people. They disgust me but I’m kind of curious how their brain works. Perhaps understanding them better would help me and others to recognize similar situations earlier and save a child in my lifetime.
Just as I had totally given up on life and shit parents I ran across the story of Team Hoyt. The most amazing saga about a father, his son and his handicap, and how they continue to inspire people around the world. When you’re feeling pissed off at all the madness in the world, the Hoyt’s helps to put things in perspective. It doesn’t make me forget about all the poor innocent children who are abused and murdered but at least it goes towards the back of my mind for a while.
My son is named after a little boy I knew who died at the hands of a horrible woman. She hated him because his father loved him more than her yet the father let her hit HIS kids. They are both in jail now (her for life, him for another 54 years). My son will know the legacy of his name, that this boy, this precious boy, his death changed so many things, his death was in the front page news and woke a lot of people up to child abuse. I wish we could do to the abusers what they do the children. I wish it would include more pain though.
I tend to agree with you, AD. As a society we require people to take classes and prove they have a basic level of skill before we let them drive, or own firearms, or even install their own house wiring. But hey, you want to have a kid? You want to be responsible for another human being? Have at it!
TOTALL AGREE! I have been saying this for years! If you need a license to drive a car, you sure as hell should have to have one to be a parent!
As a Masshole, I am very familiar with the Hoyt story — it was, and continues to be, one of the truely inspiring stories in MA, or anywhere, for that matter.
As for bad parents, well… let’s all be good parents.
Again, one of the true downfall of our democratic system and our freedom that we value so much. In Canada, we have a ‘child police’ and we have called them on a family member…but the ‘abuse’ wasn’t large/proven enough… It made me think if this case wasn’t serious enough and this ‘child police’ is stretched to the tilt… there is a lot to be done…
This being said, I am not ready to play god and say who can and who can’t procreate but it still makes me sick to hear the stories.
I read the Team Hoyt story last week… How will I respond to adversity… Hopefully like Mr Hoyt.
I read the the Team Hoyt story and I choose to focus on the positive parents then the negative.
agreed, new parents should be required to take classes at least, to help prepare them for the typical things…but i fear even classes and lisences would not stop the freaks out there….
- Jon
- Daddy Detective
- www.daddydetective.com
I appreciated how you ended your post with the Hoyt story. I think part of the problem is that our culture is over-saturated with these horrible stories of parents neglecting and abusing their children. Everyone knows these stories, and when they come to the point of desperation, they act out what they’ve heard from these stories.
I think one of best things we can do is promote positive ways of handling difficult situations. We need to tell stories like the Hoyt story. We’ve all had moments where we were frustrated with our kids and didn’t know what to do. It’s in those places that hopefully we can recall stories of people who persevered and made a positive decision instead of a hurtful or uneducated one.
What do you think?
all those mothers (and fathers) that poison, torture and abuse their children should be sterilized as punishment, in addition to their jail time. that’s the first thing.
the second is: the hoyts are my heroes! i tell everyone about them; they are so inspiring. the video on youtube makes me cry every time.
I think it’s horrible when parents hurt or even kill their own child. How can you do something like that?
Well, my mom wasn’t fit to parent. She didn’t know that until she’d had kids. I’m not sure how I came out ok (considering the verbal and physical abuse I endured) but I am sure glad I am alive today. I have children of my own and would NEVER treat them as I was treated. BUT _ before I had my first child, I went to a psychologist. I spent two weeks telling him my whole life story to see if he thought I was stable enough to procreate. He said that I was doing amazing, all things considered and that I should carry on and have plenty of children.
Maybe if someone is going to concieve, and they come from a difficult, unhealthy or dysfuncation family, they could do the same for their children….their future?