Big T Lernz 2 Reed ‘N Rite Yo
Because I'm Your Father | October 11
Ok, the first thing I want to know (with apologies to those of you I don’t read) is how in the hell THIS PERFECT GEM of a news item gets past so many of the internet’s best mommy and daddy bloggers for nearly 5 days without post or comment?
Apparently, everyone’s favorite Dallas Cowboys wide receiver really loves children, AND can also read and write! Who knew? It seems he enjoys both so much that he’s decided to compose the next great American children’s novel, just in time for your holiday shopping! Watch out Elmo TMX, because this tome is da shizzle mah nizzle!
Little T Learns to Share is the first book (yes, first) in Terrell Owens’ “T.O.’s Timeout Series” (brilliant). It is a gripping character study of Little T, a young boy struggling to learn the value of sharing his football with friends. Co-author Courtney Parker (um, you didn’t think T.O. actually knew how to read and write did you?) points out the obvious irony in the article, proving that two heads are not necessarily better than one. And really, what better way to launch a new children’s book than an accidental overdose, initially reported by your publicist as a suicide attempt.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for the sequels, “Little T Learns What Not to Say” and “Little T Learns To Say I’m Sorry.” I’m quite sure that the series will someday rival the Potter books. Got any suggestions on future titles?
I don’t know what is scarier, the T.O. book or the commercial I just saw for John Lithgow’s children’s DVD. It was creepy.
I heard about it but I figured this might actually inspire you to post something so I let it be.
As for future titles… How about “Little T learns tolerance” which is about a boy who questions his teammate’s sexual orientation.
Or, “Little T learns the art of self promotion” which would include doing situps in his driveway.
And finally, “Little T learns to handle his free time” which is about being suspended for half the season and killing a certain person’s fantasy football team right before the playoffs begin. But maybe that’s just me.
Little T learns not to be such a dick in public.
What? It’s an important lesson.
How about a counting book? “Little T counts his Flinstones Chewables”
Jonathon, LOVE your title!!!
as a Philly native I wish someone would just put a “hit” on him and make him go away already.
I think you all should submit those titles and make him actually write the books for each of them. what a hoot that would be.
“Give Me the Damn Ball!”
Wasn’t that TO’s favorite mantra when he was publicly berating QB-2?? He used to say that about Jeff Garcia all the time.
Sounds like a perfect followup to “Little T Learns To Share”.
Umm… One of your bosses had already commented about this… Check out Mr. Nice Guy’s Blog.. :)
If you think we actually read each others blogs… you crazy!
“Give me the damn ball” was Keyshawn Johnson, but from a long time ago. As a Cowboys fan who has vowed not to pay attention to the team until this egomaniac is off the team, how about “Little T gets traded to Siberia?”
Little T gets Suspended? Little T and Lil Donovan are no longer friends?
Hello
I can’t be bothered with anything these days, but shrug. I just don’t have anything to say recently.
G’night