The Fight of the Navigator
Hygiene Chronicles | August 19We suck at directions. Seriously, as much as we compliment each other in most ways, we’re terrible going to places we’ve never been.When we first got together, we were much smarter. The years together have been great in terms similar tastes in furnishings, finishing each other’s thoughts and knowing what movies or music the other loves. But they have decreased exponentially our ability to get anywhere.
In the beginning, it was common that I’d drive when invited out or going on trips. I’d get the directions all set and then he’d navigate. We successfully made to one event as a couple before the ‘stupids’ hit us.
“When do we turn?”
“Soon in a few blocks or a few miles?”
“What does that mean?”
“Nope, it was back a few miles ago.”
“Are you shitting me?”
“Actually, I can’t tell.”
Yep, that was us. Pretty soon, I’d pull over and read the map.
“It’s ten more streets. Just count. You can do that right?” I’d say sarcastically. He’d count aloud. Ten streets later, and we still weren’t at the right intersection.
“Ten streets, huh?”
This went on for years. Finally, we reversed the roles.
“Where do we turn?” he’d ask.
“Shit, I only printed out the interstates. I forgot to get the side streets.” I’d admit.
I once drove by myself from DC to Cleveland for a wedding. I was two hours late for the rehearsal dinner. When they asked why I blushed with stupidity. “I was in West Virginia.”
They look puzzled. “But that’s only a few miles from the turnoff.”
“Yeah, I know. I was in West Virginia for 90 minutes before I noticed.”
We have maps in the car, but frankly, we’re too stubborn to admit we’re lost. You think it’s bad when a wife makes you pull into a gas station? Try not having a wife in the car. It’s a bullheaded guy times TWO.
Last week, I was at a wedding reception in Woodbridge, VA, a suburb about 40 minutes from my house. On the way home, I was passing through the Springfield mixing bowl, a location I’ve done 100 times. I’m blasting my music as the car head towards DC. Neal Pert had just begun the solo in YYZ, the long one from Exit Stage Left. I was meticulously making sure I was keeping along with every beat. (I’m one of those drivers you don’t want to be next to for fear of them not paying attention.)
All of sudden, I look up. I’m on some overpass going toward the Wilson Bridge to Maryland.
CRIPES.
Someone recommended we get a navigation system built right into the car. Not a bad idea. We should do that.
Hey, how do you get to the dealership again?
Neil Pert, The Professor!
Yup, I can get lost listening to Rush too!!
We’re not the best at navigating ourselves either :-)
Yes, do get a navigation system. When things are so easy to change, why not do so :-) Besides, these systems are quite fool-proof these days. And definitely less expensive.
You don’t have to get one built in. Get a TomTom Go. We have the 510 and it’s awesome! Ours has maps of Europe (obviously) but you can buy maps of USA too. I can’t drive without mine. Once you get stuck on a wrong route here in Europe you’re stuck for ages. The thing I like most about it, being a new driver, is that I don’t have to do anything except drive. All the decision making process is gone :)
A friend of mine has a GPS and was coming to my house one day. Needless to say the GPS told her the wrong directions, therefore, I had to stay on the phone with her while giving her directions. The GPS gave wrong directions up until about a mile from my house. Sometimes I wonder if they are any better?
Whenever I travel for work I rent Hertz Neverlost GPS. I swear by it. It is great.
We have nav systems in both cars. They rock. Now, the only annoyance we have if when people try to give us directions, and after a few minutes, we’re like, “just give me the address, okay?”
The best part, of course, is when it is 11pm and you’re in a strange town and need to find an ice cream parlor, you just punch it in.
I don’t need no fancy GPS system! I’ve got a built-in GPS in my head, it’s called a “man-brain”. I look to the stars for directions and the rotation of the earth, wind speed, smells, etc.
Or Google maps on my Smartphone helps.
Ah yes… the joys of marital navigation