The Alpha Dad
Genuine | August 7My parents stayed in our home over the weekend and were “guests” in our home. The thought that “my house, my rules” came across my screen on more than one occasion. 
Most of my early life I was told to follow the rules as my Father had laid them out and to not stray from that regimen. I suppose this worked like a charm for him, because on more than one occasion I found myself reverting back to the rules once again.
My father sat in the Alpha Father chair and had complete control over the remote. My remote, the one that never gets more than just a few feet away from me at any given time. We sat around watching his shows, and when he needed something he told me to get it and I jumped to my feet to comply. Like a wolf pack, he showed his dominance and I merely bowed and backed away. Is this an innate response to human nature? Is there really an Alpha Father of the pack?
HA! My father-in-law is the same way! His shows, his rules. Its quite frustrating watching my husband bow down to him, but there’s nothing I can do.
It seems that “once a parent, always a parent” no matter what the age and the children still have to abide by the rules, even if it is their own house. I wonder what would have happened if you would have given your dad “your rules”? Would he laugh at your or abide by them? Maybe you should have that conversation?
My father-in-law is pretty mellow at his age. He just likes to watch whatever we’re watching or read his Reader’s Digest. No Alpha going on there. But the mother-in-law, now that’s a different story…
YES. My Dad comes into my house, takes the remote, and starts flipping channels from the easy chair (unless his granddaughter is watching something). He also demands coffee or a Coke, depending on the time of day. And why am I always jumping to comply? My father-in-law would be the same way, but he’s usually distracted by the kids and forgets to ask for things.
We were at church on Sunday and I carry peppermint candies in my purse for my Dad, who loves them. My husband asked for one, but I gave him an Altoid while my Dad got the last piece of candy. “Why does HE get the candy??” my husband whispered accusingly. “Because he doesn’t like Altoids!” I hissed back. “You’re always catering to him,” my husband huffed.
Obviously, I need to carry more candy.
Haha, yeah there’s no Alpha male issues in my family. Me, my dad, and my father in law are all pretty laid back. The females on the other hand…whooooo-boy. There’s enough strong willed women on both my side and her side to make a man retreat to the basement (even though we don’t even have basements) and hide until the growling and hissing has stopped.
What a great post.
Dude. Didn’t you learn ANYTHING from watching the Dog Whisperer marathon this weekend??? All you need to do is wrestle him to the ground, firmly grasp his neck, and hold him there until he submits. Repeat THAT regimen a couple times and he’ll be fetching your paper and beer in no time at all.
I’m with Tony. Me, my dad, and my father in law are all pretty mellow, so there’s no Alpha stuff going on there. The WOMEN, on the other hand…on both sides of the family, there’s enough dominant personalities to make any sane male go hide in the basement until the growling and hissing stops.
No alpha father exists in my family, only alpha females. And they are scary, very, very scary.
Very funny BIYF…
I go through the same thing when my parents visit. My dad still insists on driving everywhere even though he doesn’t know where he is going. Not to mention his poor eyesight has led to us running a few red lights or hitting some sidewalks.
Yep - my dad is still alpha, even at my house….I can tell he’s trying to be nice about it though - but it will always be that way I suppose
Not in my house. He respects my things and my dominance in the household plus, he couldn’t use the complicated remote if he wanted to……Thank the tech gods for that…..
in my family theres a definite heirarchy - it all stemmed from my dad (rip) who was rather strict - when he died it seems the house “father” mantle passed to my uncle who now rules the roost whenever he comes to visit ! wouldn’t have it any other way
When I was a teenager I peed in a cirlce around myself enough times to let him know I had my own space. We are both alphas, but we respect each other’s domain.
I too though am with everyone that commented on women being much more aggresive in this - especially with kids.
My Dad ADORES his grandson, who adores him right back. However, Dad’s chosen perk as the Senior Y-chromosome Bearer isn’t to plop down at the center of the action, but instead to remove himself from it — to go read on the porch, for instance, and not be bothered by book-readings, baby-feedings, diaper-changes and such.
Unusual, yes, but it helps to avoid conflict.
Ooh, yeah, I can relate. Like Kelly and Mark said: sane males head to the basement when the Alpha Bitches (and, really, there’s no other way to put it) start staring each other down. I’ve had some pretty ugly tangles with my mother AND my mother-in-law that really came down to a dominance struggle.
Funny thing, though–after I became a mom, Mom and the M-I-L really backed off a lot. Maybe because they saw the Mother Bear Look on my face once or twice as I prepared to utter the Ultimate Dominance Incantation: I’M HER MOTHER.
Then again, maybe becoming a parent means I can’t be bothered to get into it.