Mother-In-Law Visit
AdventureDad | August 4
Pour yourself a glass of nice single malt and finish it. Pour yourself another one. I have something scary to tell you. My mother-in-law has come for a visit. I’m afraid of telling you how long she’s staying since it might provoke cold sweats, anxiety attacks, or severe nausea. She will be with us for ***gasp*** three months. Am I completely out of my mind ? Has the wife finally allowed that hot, blond, Swedish, 18 year-old with big boobs to become our au pair as a trade-off? The au pair thing is unfortunately not going to happen, at least not yet, and I might be out of my mind. But the truth is that having my MIL here is not a problem at all. It’s actually kind of great. Not only is she helping out a lot with our son and the household but I challenge anyone to find a nicer, kinder, more generous person.
I’m not comfortable being around another “strangers” for longer periods of time. When I constantly have people around me and no breathing room, I get in a bad mood. You might have watched “Monster In Law” and know what a vicious and protective MIL can be like. But my MIL is very different. She is always there but still kind of invisible. And despite being over 60 she has more energy than most. She gets up at 6 am, takes a long walk in the woods, makes breakfast, and helps my very pregnant wife to get our son ready for day care. She spends the rest of the day with my wife or keep our son home from day care so she can spend more time with him (he’s only at day care for a short amount of time anyway). She has a great relationship with our son and loves to play with him. And she does way too much work at home which we appreciate but I constantly have to tell her to sit down and take a break. Each night after work I order her to sit down and take it easy while I serve her a glass of wine or two. We appreciate all her help but are careful not to abuse it. Which is in sharp contrast to what her two other kids two. When she shows up for a visit they stop cooking, cleaning, and taking care of heir children. That is then all up to her while her children does nothing. It’s not a pretty sight.
The description of my MIL is pretty much the opposite of my parents. They live far away but come for the occasional visit. I can have them here for a week but then they must leave or I will throw them out. Or strangle them while sleeping. They sleep until 10.30, don’t interact with our son, take an afternoon nap, and expect dinner at 8 pm each night. Never mind that our meal times depend on our son who is starving to death by 6 pm. The most depressing issue is how little time they spend with our son. Virtually nothing. Their idea of interaction is sitting on the couch watching TV or reading the paper while he plays in front of them. My mother also believes I’m still 15 years old living at home. My parents have traveled very little and apparently believe I have learned nothing from traveling around the world for the past 15 years. After the week is over and they are out of the house I need some serious time to recover.
My MIL has spent long times with us before but it has never been a problem. Although I must admit being scared and angry ten years ago when my wife told me her mother was coming for a visit. I was not angry about the visit but about the period of stay. Two months was never mentioned until she showed up. But it turned out just fine and since then she has occasionally been with us for longer periods of time. She was here when our son was born and she will now be here when our daughter is born (due date is tomorrow)She’s amazing in the kitchen and make some fierce Mexican dishes. Real Mexican food, not crappy Tex-Mex stuff. Her cleaning skills make our normal girl look like a dirty slob and the washing is done quicker than ever. I don’t really have any complaints about the MIL which seems to be unheard of. Oh, I do have one. Her alcohol resistance is kind of low:-)) She usually handles little alcohol when arriving but after taking part in the AdventureDad alcohol camp she enjoys a couple of glasses of wine on a daily basis.
Consider this a small tribute to my excellent MIL. My first meeting with the family in 1989 was a complete disaster. It was actually worse than a disaster. But since then things have gone the right way. If I grow up to be half as good person as her I will have done very well. I also want to apologize for upsetting lots of readers and talking so much about MIL’s on a Friday. Hope I didn’t make you barf.
Have a nice weekend!
You are such a suck up!
My MIL is sweet, but totally useless when she visits. In fact, she creates more work. If I need real help, I call MY mom - this woman will weed my yard, fold my laundry, change my kids’ diapers and organize my closets… and of course, because she taught me how to do all these things, SHE does them just the way I like them!
Even my husband admits that my mother is more useful than his.
The secret to having a good relationship with your MIL is to not have the MIL and your Mom live in the same state. There’s a lot less opportunity for jealousy and competitiveness. I know that if they both lived close to us they would always try to be more “helpful” than the other one. Help like that, I don’t need.
My M-I-L has the sentient level of a sack of potatoes, which she wouldn’t be able to open. She stays an average of two months per year, weeks at a time, can’t cook, has an attention span shorter than our 1 year old, and won’t clean. Yes, single malt has been the grease that keeps our marriage from coming to a sparking, screeching halt.