Curly Lawn
More Diapers | June 28
Figure 1.A: Curly Lawn in sexy Glamorshot fog pose.
Ok, first off, get your head out of the gutter. This is a guy site, but there is no need to go there.
Nope, I’m talking about something else near and dear to many a man’s heart. His lawn. Many men take it as a personal afront to their manhood if they can’t keep a lush green lawn that is the envy of their neighbors. Fortunately for me, I don’t have any neighbors who can see my lawn. Otherwise, I might have my manhood revoked.
Or would I? No, see, I’m going to change the rules. Starting now, curly lawns are in. They are the new lush green lawns. In fact, if you can’t get a lawn as curly as mine, you’re much, much less of a man. Yup, that’s just the way it is.
“What is a curly lawn?” you may rightfully ask.
Ok, picture this: instead of grass your lawn is made up of a variety of moss, clover, violets and some other nice green-type plants (notice I didn’t say “weeds?”) Now, imagine looking at it from, say, a few feet away. All this asorted greenery looks kinda curly. Very nice, I think.
So from now on, all you men (and women) with curly lawns, rejoice. Curly lawns are in. Make sure to make fun of your neighbor with their oh-so perfect lawn. Suckers, shouldn’t have tried so hard.
Also? Where lawns are concerned, I hear that BROWN is the new green. No, I swear….
Note to self: keep hubby away from reading this particular post. Slacker! (just kidding)
My father was also a believer in the “Is it green? Then what is wrong with it?” I am one of those perfect lawn people, mostly because I (somewhat) remember trying to walk barefoot through those rough edged broadleafs was like… and my daughter LOVES to go barefoot. So… I spend waaay to much time tending to it.
My yard, it can not be referred to as a lawn, is made up of whatever plant can survive the weekly mowings.
I don’t have weeds. I have wild strawberries, and wild violets. And what’s wrong with clover?
Plus, I don’t have to mow as often…
Most of my yard is tiny wild strawberries too.
LatteMan: How many chemicials do you spray on your yard so your daughter can walk barefoot on it? Just wondering.
I wanna see the beauty! Show us a pic!
Our lawn is the curliest on the block. Little did I know that means we are the most stylin’. There is some kind of wild parsley looking thing that is taking over, fighting a pretty intense battle with the dandelion thistle things.
I like parsley.
A picture is most certainly in order here. I’ve never been one to really appreciate the curly look but I’m always behind such trends. I like to get the edger out and keep it looking tidy. I also appreciate the mower ‘lines’. All of the other plants in the yard can rot and die, but my lawn stays… trim and green, though I did appreciate my fathers ability to cultivate moss and dandelions in his yard as a child. The pendulum swings.
whoa, my lawn is like - HOT sh*t right now then…
From a man who just drowned a tomato plant on our balcony (OK, the torrential downpours were accomplices, but I aided and abetted), my hat’s off to you for growing anything that’s roughly green.
I’m pissed at Peter. Did he say weekly mowings?
At least you don’t have the neighborhood gopher going after your curly lawn.
Manicured lawns are so. not. hot. Just for the record;-)
I recently noticed that everyone in the neighborhood was watering their lawn but us (NO rain here lately). I thought to myself, “Now why the hell would you want to go and do that. If it dies, you won’t have to mow.”
I think I’m on to something.
My husband would love it if our lawn were entirely curly. And I wouldn’t mind either. Life is too short to worry about something as mundane as the freaking grass!
CHIA-Lawn? No seriously, we can market this thing. Who is in?
I’m totally, totally in. Bought in. I’m there.
Blogfather, I stopped Weed-n-Feedin’ 6 or 7 lawns ago!
Guess I need to figure out a trackback thing for this joint… here are my thoughts.
http://www.becauseimyourfather.com/archives/2006/06/potholes_in_my_lawn..php
Our neighbors are dropping hints about helping us mow or are suggesting hints about good lawn services. I think I’ll drop them a hint by forwarding them this post.
If only a dead brown crispy lawn was in right now, we’d be the winners. Dang 107 degree weather, coupled with the fact that they limit our watering times, and change them weekly so you never know when you can water and for how long. Add to that the fines you get for overwatering, or watering on the wrong days or times, and well our lawn just looks God Awful and the neighbor across the street with the perfectly mowed, lush green lawn, can kiss our butts.
This I have to show my wife! Since she is entirely opposed to chemicals our lawn is made up more if hay producing plants than grasses.
And since our soil is really very poor, I tend to let the green grow longer. That way the patches of brown are harder to see, at until we (ahem, I) mow.
Kevin… I am am an “Organic Gardener” (something else I learned from my father), so as far as “chemical”, I spread on my lawn… the answer is NONE. (And again for the same reason… I am aware that my daughter bare feet are on that lawn). The closest I get it putting down nitrogen once or twice a year.
(Of course if I did, I could spend less time on my lawn… and probably have it greener with LESS work than I do now.)
Nice shot and great rationalization to your lawn ineptitude. We are in a drought and watering is limited to once a week. So I now have an excuse to let the lawn war with my neighbor go.
I live in an urban setting at the top of a hill from steel mill that has deposited nearly a hundred years worth of death into my soil. I am the only house within 5 yards that year after year attempts to grow anything in the chemical hazzard that is my front lawn. My next door neighbor has recently re-layed his astroturf (no shit), and yet - year after year I take my brown patch as some pathetic example of my failed manhood. I would take alfalfa and mold if I could get it.