The Belt
Poop and Boogies | June 14In honor of Father’s Day this is one of my favorite stories about my dad. This story is abuot the time that I realized that my dad was a very fair man.
My father was the disciplinarian in our household when I was a kid. Sure my Mom would occasionally ground us, or wash our mouths out with soap but the penalties to the major infractions of the family rules were left up to my father to dish out. The worst punishment to get, besides the “I’m disappointed in you” speech and look, was the Belt. The Belt was an important tool when disciplining 9 kids.
I can only remember being punished with the Belt twice. One time, when I was about 8, I told my brother to “suck my *#$@”. I was 8 and I did not know what the phrase meant, but I did know it was an insult. After the three cracks of the Belt on my ass I knew that I would not say it again.
The other time that I was on the receiving end of the Belt was when the entire family, all 9 of us, were going to be punished for not eating our dinner. I was maybe 10 years old at the time. You see my Mom cooked dinner every night for 11 people. She tried real hard to make meals that were healthy and that we would all like, or at least eat, and that were within the food expense for the week. One time she decided she was going to be creative and make us a Chinese meal. Chicken Chow Mein I believe it was.
None of us would eat it. It tasted awful. My mom is a good cook but for some reason this recipe did not pan out. My 7 brothers, my sister and I sat at the dinner table for an hour without anyone touching their meal. We complained the entire time about how disgusting it was. It was gross. I think at one point one of my brothers threw the contents of their plate on the floor. When this happened my mother said to my dad, “I want them all punished.” She then placed her head in her hands and yelled at us to “go to your rooms.”
There were 5 bedrooms upstairs. My sister had her own room and all of the boys shared a room with another brother, 2 to a room. My room was in the middle of the 5. I heard my dad climbing the stairs snapping the Belt. I could hear him enter the first room. There was a pause. Then I heard the crack of the belt against their backsides. –Crack- “Ow” –Crack- “Ouch”, -Crack- “Owww!” –Crack- “Ooh!” The first two brothers got theirs.
My father entered the second room, the one right next to mine. I could hear him say something but it was muffled. There was a pause.
-Crack- “Ouch. Dad?” –Crack- Ow!”
-Crack- “OOOH.” , -Crack- “Arrrh.”
The next two brothers were punished. It was my turn next. I sat on my bed as far away from the door as possible thinking that that would save me. The bedroom door flew open. I could tell from the look on my father’s face that he was not happy. He started to speak in a low, barely audible voice.
“Okay guys,” he whispered. “I want you to hold up your pillows. When I hit them with the Belt you scream like it hurts. Do you got that?”
My brother and I exchanged glances of disbelief. We were shocked and could not quite understand what was going on.
“I said, hold up you pillows. Do you got that?” He repeated as he nodded his head.
My brother and I shook our heads and held our pillows up. –Crack- went the Belt across the pillow. “Ouch” my brother yelled through a smile. –Crack- “OW!”- Crack- the belt popped against my pillow. “OOW!” I yelped. –Crack- “Aww Ouch.” I hollered.
My dad turned to leave the room, he look over his shoulder at us and said “I didn’t like dinner either. Don’t tell your mother.” And he left.
That’s hysterical. I agree with Dad; you shouldn’t be punished because dinner sucked.
My mom used to spank us until one time, we were about 7 or 8, and my brother turned his body so she hit his hip instead of his butt. After a visit to the emergency room, she learned that she sprained her wrist and had to wear a soft cast for a week. Spankings stopped from that point forward.
what a gread dad! poor mom, didn’t any of you ever say you were sorry for hurting her feelings so bad?
Ah the covert beatings. And of course Mom was downstairs bawling her eyes out because she knew it sucked too and her babies were upstairs being beaten byt the belt. That us about a week of therapy waiting to happen.
In our house, my mom made something like that and when she served it, my dad would get up and make a sandwich and when he was done he administered the beatings!
Oh God, I love this story! I’m cracking up despite how I can only imagine what your poor mother must’ve gone thru: the pain of cooking that fantastically awful dinner, and the guilt over having all of you ‘punished’. Your Dad, ahhh what a man, at least he wanted to make it ’seem’ like he had your mom’s back. How very sweet!
My husband kinda does the same thing. The only telltale sign that gives away whether or not he really enjoyed dinner is when he packs it up to bring to work the next day. If he doesn’t even bother storing it in the fridge I throw it right into the trash and rip up the recipe!
Thanks for sharing. I’ve only just begun to read here and am thoroughly enjoying your site! Keep it up, Guys!
Awesome!
Very nice story. Thanks for sharing! Unfortunately, I don’t have one like it. If my dad got the belt out, he generally followed through. Fortunately, it wasn’t too often, and we always deserved it.
This story is a riot! That’s a pretty ingenious way to deal with it - and it truly does show that your dad was being fair. Your poor mom, though… with nine kids, I can understand her reaction after trying so hard to make something new.
Great Story.
If we would have mocked that scenario every time my mother made a bad meal - our pillows would have been torn to schreds. My Father was the good cook of the two and I think he would always offer to make dinner the day after a particularly bad experiment by my mother to give us a break from her cooking and a recovery period. . . no one without cooking instincts should ever be allowed to regularly attempt a dish refered to as ‘Noodle Surprise.’
Sorry Mom.
Thanks for the home-made pizza dad.
That’s funny. What a fair guy. “I didn’t like it either”…too cool.
That was awesome. Your poor mom though. How long did it take for her to find out he didn’t whup your butts? She tried so hard! She can make Chinese for me any time :-)
um wow ok so did I just skip to another segmant of the comments and not notice or is there some very confusing spam going on. I need a nap.
Funny story though, I laughed so much my side hurts. My dad walked in just as I was telling my mom to shut up (I was around 15). She had just called me an f-ing brat (and I’m positive I was but still, don’t say it out loud to my face! hehe). I got the belt, the second and last time. Yipes
[…] While people are reflecting this weekend about their fathers, and some posts in the blogosphere have already made me cry or laugh, I decided that I would just complain. […]
What a great story. Your dad continues to be the man. My favorite part though is your mom saying, “I want them all punished.” So regal.
[…] I’m honestly asking (I wasn’t around then). Was society so buttoned-down that kids acted like little adults? Or was the fear of Dad and “the belt” a motivating factor in keeping the kids in ship-shape? I was able to find this image of a kid throwing a tantrum in a buzz cut and short pants which looks like it’s from the late ’50s or early ’60s, but I don’t know for sure. […]