The Blogfathers

It’s Summer. As Glenn Frye would say, “The Heat is On.” (OK, I’m totally dating myself here.)

With the onset of summer comes the many challenges of protecting kids from things they shouldn’t do or see. School is out and they have the chance to explore what the world has to offer. The sun doesn’t fall until almost 9 PM allowing them even more times to explore. Guarding our children’s experiences is an incredible battle.

Pools open and with that, every parent’s sixth sense intensifies as the child moves out sight range. We memorize every uncovered body of water within a five-mile radius.

Bees and wasps are prevalent. Within every pretty flower is the insect that sends children running and flailing their arms as if they were being attacked.

July has fireworks. There’s nothing more intriguing to a child then the chance to watch firecrackers make loud noise or shoot millions of miles into the air and explode in a multitude of colors. Gone are the days when a little kid would be amused by charcoal ‘snakes’ growing off the sidewalk and then blowing in the wind like the remnants from a crematorium.

But for me, it is a visual defense. Every summer brings the same danger that I attempt to shield from my son. More dangerous than bees, pools or the IKEA Summer Sale…

RIVERDANCE

Curse you, Michael Flatley. May you eat potatoes and cabbage forever.

Beginning in early May, our television is barraged with advertisements promoting your inane clog dancing. Young children, being forced to endure the site of dancers, moving in unison while wearing tights and large shoes that make so much noise, it conjures up images of Clydesdales delivering freshly brewed lager. It’s a horror and a travesty.

You take incredibly popular music and then set it in motion with 46 ‘Irish’ dancers, all named Beyonce, Miguel and Takayuki. And you endorse it as a chance for 4th generation families to celebrate their roots. The closest things these folks come to Ireland is eating Lucky Charms.

But what makes it worse? You created more. Beyond Riverdance! Celtic Pride! Riverdance: A Very Special Episode (the one where Mary Elizabeth Caitlyn becomes a woman).

Our children should not learn heritage from ‘the dance’. It is not you who should teach them. They should learn about tradition from Green Beer Days (alma mater link) and watching Notre Dame football.

So parents, this summer… protect your children. Watch out for sunburn and heatstroke. Beware of spider nests and playing in the street.

But most of all…protect them from…the Lord of the Dance.

Music, Capos, Parenting Challenges