Now, now children…
Child's Play x2 | March 29Lately, I’ve come to notice a change in the blogosphere. You may have noticed it too. A lack of civility has washed over our collective souls and here at the Blogfathers, well, we don’t take kindly to that kinda attitude around here. Around here, we tend to keep it light and that’s fine, because if there isn’t humor in turning your children into nut-jobs, then life’s just not funny.
I would speculate that most of us bloggers, when deciding to put out our little welcome mat to the Al Gore-o-sphere we don’t imagine that hundreds or even thousands of people wil someday want to read about our snapshots of daily parenting. But then it happens and with that, comes a dark side that we didn’t think about when first trying to figure out what to name our little blog.
I bring this up because a friend (and when you exchange holiday cards and send gifts to each other, you’re officially a friend - even though we’ve never actually met) of mine has had to go through some pretty awful stuff over a little tongue-in-cheek post about the importance of keeping ourselves fit - for ourselves and for our mates. This should be a great time for MIM as she was recently profiled in the latest issue of Baby Talk magazine - an exciting development that I think we’d all find fun if it happened to us. Instead, MIM has had to shut down her comments because people have been saying some incredibly mean things to her. To me, this is just insane. I mean, we’re just parents who love our kids. Nothing else really matters. Yet, some people have taken a simple post (a snapshot, if you will, of one day) and decided that MIM is the anti-christ.
So, I say, enough of that crap! I have spent considerable time thinking of a “Code of Conduct” for us bloggers and those who read others’ blogs (and when I say “considerable time”, I mean the 10 minutes I spend in the shower, as it’s the only time, as a parent of twins, I have to think of these things.). If these resemble the rules at our local pre-school, well you might be half-right.
Bloggers Code of Conduct
- Be nice. If you were to visit me at my house, you’d be a welcome guest. But the second you call my wife a whore or that my kids are ugly, I’m putting your ass out on the street. Same goes for my blog.
- If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. See that button at the top of your browser? It’s a little arrow that points to the left. It’s called the “Back” button. If you don’t like what I’ve written, just go ahead and hit that little button. I won’t mind. Really.
- Leave your real e-mail address. If you’re gonna ignore rule number two and leave a message insulting the way I wipe my kids’ ass, then leave your real email address so I can
sign you up for the Hustler newsletterat least respond privately. - Start your own damn blog. This is my view of the world. I realize you may have a different perspective. You are welcome to let me know your different perspective in my comments, as long as it’s done in a respectful way. If you can’t do that, then start your own frickin’ blog where you can beat your chest as long and as loud as you want.
- Don’t take me (or yourself, for that matter) so seriously. Really. I’m not out to win the Pulitzer Prize for Literature. I’m not out to make millions on the backs of my cute as hell kids (although I wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth). I’m just writing about my kids and this parenting thing. You don’t know much about me - even though I’ve written my 100 things about me post. So, really. Dude. Relax.
- Remember. I’m a real person. While I may have a picture of a Rhino or a picture of my nice-looking ass on my blog, that is only a small representation of what I am. I don’t have that thick of skin and what you write can hurt my feelings. And you don’t really want to hurt my feelings do you?
- If you can’t handle these simple rules, you will be subject to a viscious hit courtesy of the Blogfathers. ‘Cause I know people who know people. Know what I’m saying?
So, play nice blogosphere. Or there will be consequences.
P.S. Feel free to pass this code of conduct to as many as possible. We need to start a movement!
[…] I don’t have much for you today. You can visit my wife’s latest post as she writes a very sweet post to our twins (plus there’s a cute picture!). I also wrote about a “Blogger’s code of conduct” at the Blogfathers. So go check ‘em out! Filed under: Life with Twins — Matthew, Copyright (c) 2005 @ 8:24 am […]
Here here! Well said!
I think we should around MIM a perimeter create. Perhaps we need an addition mutual defense rule…
Bravo! Maybe all the Blog world should adopt these rules and post them on their sites. That way people will know not to come “knocking on their door if you’re gonna start s&*^”. I know when someone ticks me off on a particular site, which rarely happens, I do what you suggest and move on to another site. I DO NOT leave a nasty message, that person is expressing their rights of FREE SPEECH and their free blog.
Matthew,
That is a great list. I am so with you. I feel so bad for MIM right now. Hey, can I re-post you list on my site? I’ll give you complete credit. Let me know.
THIS IS SOOO GREAT!!! Can I copy and paste it into my site? I just had to tangle with some a-holes myself and get a post of mine removed from some “woman-haters” site and it was horrible what they were posting and saying about me. I felt violated and sick to my stomach. I actually password protected my site for a couple of days…
But now it’s back up. I refuse to let them win and stop me from doing what I enjoy!!!!
I am so sad about MIM as well. I read some of the comments and it was just unreal what people will say to..and about…someone they do not know. I hope she comes back….
If you think it was bad on MIM’s site, you should see what gets written on political blogs!
I really hope that MIM can feel comfortable opening her comments back up again sometime soon.
Well said Matthew!
I love MIM’s blog (as I do yours and of course this one too) and its such a shame that people feel they have to leave hateful comments like they did. I happened to agree with her totally, but if I didn’t I don’t think I would have felt the need to spam up her blog comments with personal attacks. Hope she can open up her comments soon!
Very well said Matthew… very well said. I agree with Croutonboy… “around MIM, a perimeter create.”
Dude, you put a picture of your ass on your blog?
No seriously, great list and about dang time someone created a set of guidelines.
This is a great list mate….well done.
A to the men, man.
Great list??? This list is the worst thing I have ever read and I think you are fat and ugly and I hope you break your leg in a roller-skating accident.
Of course I’m joking!
I did a post and similar list a while ago in response to another instance of blog incivility (http://badladies.blogspot.com/2006/03/blog-bashing-spelling-fascist-meanies.html). At the time, I was just so surprised that people could be so mean what I had come to think of as such a welcoming environment. After MIM’s ordeal, I feel (sadly) that I’ve become a bit hardened. But posts (and comments) like this soften me up. So long as good guys keep railing against the mean, there’s hope. Keep it up.
It’s truly a shame that so many people don’t think this way. It should be commonsense and yet people continue to act like asshats all over the net. I only recently started reading MIM and it saddens me that so many people were jerks that she had to shut down comments.
Awesome…just awesome. Well said.
I dunno.I feel some of you bloggers are being naive about how public a blog is. They do call it the “World wide web” for that reason. I have seen several bloggers use the “home” analogy and the web is just not a home. I agree that there should be a line of decorum, no name calling, etc but should all comments really be “nice” re:#2. Maybe you have a point #8 for constructive disagreeing?
It was my feeling the MIM really stepped in it, maybe she didn’t mean to come off the way she did, and she did face the music, but you’d have to be a stoned idiot from Mars to write about women and weight and not expect to seriously upset some people.
Consider it done!
The people who need to read this list? Won’t. My advice to bloggers who get weird comments: 1) ignore or 2) delete.
Becky is probably right–but it still needed to be said. I followed the whole debacle and felt like I’d stepped back in time about 16 years. At least in high school, we knew each other and could work it out face to face.
Hi, this is a great post! I just stumbled into MIM’s place last week and saw the awful spectacle. Couldn’t believe it.
Anyway, I like your guidelines.
:-)
Absoultely perfect!! I have a hate mail policy on my site, and in 18 months I have never had a problem with anyone being ignorant, even when I’m ruffling feathers. Something about the possibility of having your IP address and all that on blast scares the idiots off.
Buon luogo, congratulazioni, il mio amico!
Different people say different things about the number of credit cards one should have. I still can not figure out whether I should get another credit card (I already have 3 with a credit line of about $10 000). Should I get one more? I am considering applying for a credit at
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