Hypothetically Speaking, a six-pack
The Bean's Dad | March 27The responses to our visit to the doctors’ office varied as much as possible while all falling under the heading: “Be an active advocate for your childs’ health care.” Good advice no matter the situation.
{In the vein of empowering ourselves as advocates for our children, here are a couple of links with information regarding ear infections courtesy of Blogfather reader Gromit:
A Journal of Family Practice article regarding treatment protocol for Acute Otitis Media (AOM), one type of “ear infection”.
The other type of ear infection, Otitis Media with effusion (OME), may not require treatment at all according to the Center for Disease Control.
The trick is to determine which type your crying, wriggling, sick child has. Good luck with that.}
This week I bring you a twist– a two part question. The first part, I’d like to hear a fact about you and your child(ren). The second part is completely hypothetical.
Part One: Sort of a “best practices” question.
What is the best thing that you are doing with (or for) your child? What’s the best decision you’ve made on behalf of your progeny?Part Two: The hypothetical part.
If money is no object, if time no issue, resources not a problem, what would you like your offspring to learn? What activity would you like them to participate in? What opportunity would you like them to take advantage of?
I’ll go first.
The best thing we did with our daughter, Megan, was to teach her some American Sign Language (ASL). At about 8 months we starting “signing” to her. At about 11 months she started signing back. We continued signing and she got up to using about 150 words. She doesn’t sign quite as much now that she’s talking. But how great was it for her to be able to tell us exactly what she wanted (milk, water, more or all done) instead of having a fit out of frustration?
And the icing on this cake? More and more schools (secondary and higher) are accepting ASL for the second language requirement. She won’t ace an Advanced Placement test just yet, but we’re off to a good start.
The hypothetical part:
There are so many things I’d like Megan to experience in life. I’d like her to play soccer, go to college, fall in love, all the usual stuff. But without any limitations on time, money, etc, I’d like her to rock climb, learn a martial art, windsurf and travel the world among others. But more than anything else, I want Megan to play the guitar like a rock star.
Playing the guitar is something far, far outside my skill set yet something I admire immensely. I know… it’s not landing on the moon or becoming a leader of the free world but it’s pretty damn cool.
In the end, it will be up to her. She’ll make the choices that affect her life the most and I’ll have the pleasure of being there to support her. What will be, will be.
It’s your turn now. Even if you didn’t have an opinion on any of the other controversial episodes, you must have done something right with your kid(s) and have a secret fantasy for them. Let’s hear it.
Part 1: I think that the best choice that I’ve made for my kids is to stay home with them. While this may not be the choice that works for everyone, I truly believe that it was the best thing that I could have done. We waited to have kids until we were ready to lose my income, and it has really paid off for us in so many ways.
Part 2: I would really like to be able to teach my kids a second language. My personal preference would be to teach them Japanese, because that’s my second language, but I think that any language would be helpful. I would also like them to be good readers and to love reading, and I’m trying my hardest to read to them now while they’re young to get them hooked on it. I think we’ve succeeded with my 2 year old, so hopefully the trend will continue with our 7 month old someday. I’ve also got them both loving music, and I would really love to see them take a strong interest in playing a musical instrument. I think that piano might be the starting point, and then I’d let them choose something else later once they had a solid musical grounding. I would love it if they were able to sing on key, because that seems to be one of my biggest failings, if you ask my sisters. ;)
Part 1: Before my kids were born I spent five and a half weeks on hospital bedrest (because I was in preterm labor). This is (so far) the most important sacrifice I have made for them. They were still 5 1/2 weeks early, but they are healthy.
We also did sign language, which was (and still is, even though they can talk) a great way for them to communicate with us AND with other kids.
One more (is this cheating?) thing. I’m pushing “please” and “Thank you” like crazy. I really think this will help them in the future. Manners make people treat you differently.
Part 2: I would love it if the kids were able to play at least one instrument, play at least one sport (or something physical) and go to whatever college they want. I would love to stay in a city where they have endless opportunities to do whatever they want.
Part 1: Making the decision with my wife for me to be a stay at home dad. I couldn’t imagine him being raised by someone else all day long.
Part 2: Not really sure. I guess staying healthy and outliving me.
As soon as I read your question, I immediately thought of teaching our daughter sign language as well. We used the Signing Times DVDs, and it worked wonders for her. She is also using sign language less and less now that she has more of a spoken vocabulary, but it is still helpful. As far as the best decision we made on our daugher’s behalf, I would have to say it was living through all the infertility treatments to bring her into the world in the first place. She is an absolute delight (at least most of the time — smile).
If money were no object, I wish that I could stay home with my daughter full time and get her involved in as many activities to broaden her mind as possible, though the daycare that she is in is definitely doing a good job in that department. As far as long-term plans for her? I’d like to see her play an instrument, and maybe get involved in dance, but mostly, I’d like to expose her to as many things as possible so that she has enough information to choose for herself, even it if involves things I haven’t even dreamed of.
part 1: I would also say baby signs and also having a consistent routine. I believe it helps them prosper.
part 2: I would LOVE my daughter to take sailing lessons. DH and I always talked about it even pre-child. But we didn’t win the lottery. Maybe someday!
part 1: My son is only one, but I think the best thing we’ve done for him so far is a relatively simple one that I’m sure most folks who read this do as well: we read to him everyday. It’s amazing to me how much he loves books because of this simple step. He will empty his bookshelf before going near his toybox. He definitely favors some titles over others and will push those he dislikes out of our hands. My hope is that this turns into the same love of reading that I had growing up.
part 2: If money were no object, I’d give my child a chance to travel, to expose him to as many different sights, sounds, tastes and textures as possible. I can’t think of anything I’d want him to learn in particular, other than to be open-minded and treat others with kindness.
When I was pregnant with our first son, we moved from Seattle (which we loved) to Oklahoma City (which we like well enough) to be closer to family. Despite my discomfort at being a blue dot in a red state, we have never regretted our decision to raise our sons here.
My secret wish for my sons is that ONE of them will play basketball and love it. Not be great at it, mind you–I’m not talking NBA or even NCAA, just pee-wee league. Right now, they have no interest whatsoever in the hoops, and it’s breaking my heart.
The best thing I have done for my child is to become a full-time stay-at-home-mom. To be able to witness every milestone she has had from the day she was born until this point in time has been a treasure that both us of will benefit from for the rest of our lives. I can also honestly say that I have loved it and despite any sacrifices made to be at home full-time I can see in her eyes that it is much more important for me to be with her at home every day then it is to have more toys, more play activities, or anything else.
Now if money was no object what would I like her to have/do/ etc? I would like for her to fall in love and marry her soul-mate. I would like for her to be a mom and know what it is to love someone so completely that you would give your life a child without a seconds hesitation. I would like for her to be an intelligent woman who can stand up for what she believes in, and who doesn’t just run with the crowd.
I want for her to love herself exactly the way she is, not how society wants her to be. I want her to go to college and benefit from a great education. I want her to live her life to the fullest because this is the only chance she has to do so.
The best thing? Breastfeeding is probably up there. But I’m going to say reading: we read to Baby every day, have done since she was maybe a week old, and she loves it. She loves her little soft books, turns to them before any other toy and works at the pages. If this practice turns her into a lover of books, then one of greatest hopes for her will have been fulfilled.
(And? It’s something that my husband and I both love to do with her, too. Especially when we do it together: curl up on the bed or sofa and read something special.)
What we would do if money were no object? There are a number of things on that list that we *will* do - such as ensure that she has a university education - even if money is an object. The dream-wish (which we will still pursue) is that she travel the world, with us, while she is still in her youth, before she is old enough to want to do it by herself (which we also wish for her). Maybe, then, this is a selfish dream, a dream for me: to show her the things that thrilled and amazed me - real castles, rather than Disneyland castles; animals that are not in a zoo; buildings and structures that are straight out of fantasy, like the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona - and to see the excitement in her eyes.
Part 1: As many previous posters I have to go with the reading. Our 3 year old just loves books. We read to her all the time and our only worry is that she might be reading before kindergarden and end up bored. Our house is over-flowing with books. (which is just fine by me) We aren’t sure about the little one yet as she doesn’t like to sit still long enough to listen to us read.
Part 2: Let’s see… both our girls love music so I’m fairly sure they will both get involved in music in some way. Personally I’m hoping for a nice garage punk band. My older daughter already requests “Blitzkrieg Bop” from the backseat in the car.
I guess to put it simply my wish would be that both of my girls summit K2. However that is more of a general statement, the what I would like the girls to accomplish isn’t as important to me as how they get there. I use the K2 example because you don’t just decide to climb K2 and then go do it the next week. Even people with mininal mountain experience have been able to lay out the cash to have someone try to get them to the top of Everest, but K2 doesn’t seem to have the same draw for the glory seekers. A lot of dedication has to go into an undertaking like climbing K2… a number of smaller peaks climbed, skills learned and commitment to the goal. That is what I want for my girls. In the course of their life if they come across a lofty goal; I want them to feel like they can go for it. I want them to be able to throw themselves into the task with full focus and have the willpower to push themselves to reach their goal. In truth, I could care less if it is standing on the roof of the Karakorum, working at a charity or starting their own business; just as long as they feel they can go for it.
Two children, four answers:
1a: The best thing we did for Christopher was having him evaluated by a team of doctors and specialists. We didn’t know what was going on with him, we didn’t understand him, and we were failing him. When we finally got answers, we started treatment and medication, and now we’re finally clicking as a family.
1b: This is a hard one. I think I just want him to happy, healthy, and loved for the rest of his life. I want him to find the thing or things he most loves and I want him to pursue his dreams, no matter what they are.
2a: The best thing I’ve ever done for my daughter is not limiting her potential. My parents did that to me, albeit unwittingly, and I won’t do it to her. She can do or be anything she wants. I won’t steer her to “safe” choices, and I’ll back her up 100%.
2b: See the answer to 1b.
The best thing I’ve (we’ve) done so far (10 months) for ours was to take time away from work. I took off an entire academic year, giving me 14 months at home with them since I had them in June of last year. My husband worked from home, with signigicant pay sacrafices, for 8 months. We needed this time to adjust to being a family, rather than a couple. Although we couldn’t have known it at the time we made our decisions, we both ultimately would have had to take more than your standadrd maternity/family leave, as they were born prematurely and our son was in the NICU for 2 months. I think, in addition to being the best thing for our children, it was really good for our marriage, as well. My husband truly understands what it is like to do 100% of the caregiving and I could leave for a week and know that the babies wouldn’t notice my absence.
As far as what I would like them to do, the list is endless. My parents were definitively limited by money, so my sisters and I never did much in the way of extracurricular activities. I would like them to attempt sports, dance, music, art lessons. As a child you are not as inhibited by the fear of failure, so (for me, anyway)trying to learn something in one of these areas at this point in my life is met with a lot of trepidation and intimidation. I would like for them to learn a foreign language and be well-traveled. Traveling to foreign places and absorbing a culture different from my own has become a joy for me as I’ve gotten older, and I would like my children to be aware of the diversity of our world from a young age. Mostly, I just want them to grow up happy, nice people who are comfortable with who they are.