The Blogfathers

Greetings from the day after the only holiday that has its roots in prison. Isn’t it ironic; dontcha think?

Anyway, I spent the better part of my child’s naptimes assembling the most rubdown-inducing playlist of all time. And, people, I have … uh … risen to the challenge. I burned a CD and gave it a listen before my wife returned home from work: I blacked out and later came to loving myself in the bathtub surrounded by all kinds of candles, unguents, oils and various marital aids. Even the baby was in a state of glassy-eyed desire by the time Mrs. Nice Guy came home: I could tell by the way she pawed at her mother’s breasts.

So, yeah. This is a mighty playlist. Anyone who accidentally overhears it will instantly begin undressing you. Use it with great care:

1. Lady Love by Lou Rawls (Cooler than the blizzard of ought-six. May he rest in peace)
2. Backed Up Against the Wall by The 3 Pieces (One of many Nice Guy endorsed positions)
3. Movin’ In the Right Direction by Steve Parks (Because that direction is toward the boudoir)
4. Starting All Over Again by Mel & Tim (Because its even nicer the second time around)
5. Let’s Do It Again by The Staple Singers (Again?! If you insist.)
6. What Are You Gonna Do? by Kandidate (If you don’t have an answer by now, you’re hopeless)
7. Feel the Spirit of My Guitar by Johnny “Guitar” Watson (That’s not all he wants you to feel)
8. Can We Pretend by Bill Withers (We can do anything Bill Withers wants us to)
9. Baby This Love I Have by Minnie Riperton (She tried to show you. Why wouldn’t you see?)
10. Hot Pants in the Summertime by The Dramatics (I like them in the Wintertime too)
11. Stray Woman by Ralfi Pagan (Such exquisite pain)
12. I Am I Am by Smokey Robinson (Mr. Quiet Storm himself scats his way into your bedroom. The song’s so nice, he had to name it twice)
13. You Can’t Turn Me Away by Sylvia Striplin (Why would I want to?)
14. Turn Off The Lights by Teddy Pendergrass (Best. Lyrics. Ever. “Let’s take a shower / Shower together / I’ll wash your body / You wash mine / Rub me down with some hot oil, babe / And I’ll do the same thing to you.” Hey, it doesn’t have to rhyme!)
15. Music Is My Sanctuary by Gary Bartz (When the music sounds this good, it might as well be)
16. Valentine Love by Norman Connors (Best. Valentine’s. Day. Song. Ever. Even. Though. I. Hate. It. When. People. Emphasize. Their. Points. Like. This.)
17. 90% Of Me Is You by Gwen McCrae (And the other 10% is pure soul, apparently)
18. When Did You Stop Loving Me, When Did I Stop Loving You by Marvin Gaye (Bitter divorce never sounded sexier: “How could you turn me in to the police; didn’t I love you good?”)
19. Caught Making Love by Roger Hatcher (Love the harps. Love the way he rhymes “low” and “floor.” Love that he would do it all over again.)

With a little luck, as soon as I find where my pants ended up, I might try to figure out how to add MP3s to this post. So y’all can be the best you can be next Feb 14.

That's Amore', Music