I need a nap because my daughter doesn’t
The Bean's Dad | February 15Nearly three weeks ago our daughter Megan decided that naps were for babies and that since she’s now a 28 month old “big girl” she would no longer be taking any. In reality, she didn’t actually say those words, she just stopped napping– cold turkey. As far as milestones go this has been the worst. Crawling was cute. Walking was exciting. Talking has been beneficial if a little confusing. Potty training is fun messy. But not napping has knocked me into a deep dark funk that seems a bit like Dante’s 3rd level of hell (maybe the 4th, hard to tell).
Everyone I talk to about my predicament offers their sympathy and occasionally a suggestion. Probably “I think I’d kill myself” is the most popular. I thought it a good solution as well and brought it up to the less-than-sympathetic Wife.
“I think I’ll kill myself if Megan doesn’t nap this week” I lamented.
“Don’t do that. I’d have to get someone to let the dogs out to tinkle during the day.”
“And?”
“And dog walkers cost like $20 a visit.” she said with an implied duuuhhhhhh.
“Right. How ’bout I start drinking heavily on a daily basis?”
“Can you at least wait until I get home from work? We don’t want Child Protective Services to visit. What would the neighbors think?” she countered, cleary missing the point.
“Right. Suggestions?”
“Yeah. Buck up little camper. She’s not even 2 1/2, you’re nearly 32 1/2. You don’t work. You don’t clean the house. The toughest thing you do all day is feed her lunch.”
“Getting her dressed for pre-school is tougher than lunch.” I meekly blurted.
“Ok, tough guy. Getting a 25 pound toddler dressed in the morning is the toughest thing you do all day.”
I could tell I wasn’t going to change the tide of compassion here so I shut my mouth and whimpered quietly.
I didn’t really do anything during her naps anyways. I showered (so now I’m down to about 3 a week) and I read. I managed the entire Spencer series by Robert Parker as well as 1 through 11 of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series. In addition to Po Bronson’s body of work, among others. So it’s clear that I haven’t really lost all that much in the deal. Let’s look at what I’ve gained: a no-holds-barred battle of wills over every… little… thing. So what am I complaining about, really?
We’ve tried quiet time where I suggest Megan have some alone time in her crib. Ten minutes of that results in a giant puddle of tears, snot and drool on the mattress cover. Not good. So we have together-time where we watch 3 episodes of Blues Clues, but she likes Steve and I prefer Joe.
So obviously I’m accepting my fate with grace and dignity. I can’t be the only one who wants his “big girl” to keep napping, can I?
“No More Naps” is definitely one of the worst milestones. You have my sympathies!
All of my kids have given naps up at around age 2. The youngest is still hanging in there, at two years and two months, but it’s a close call every day.
You shall have my sympathy, and wishes for the Gods of sleep to visit daily. If that fails, I’d still take up drinking, CPS be damned.
My twins will be two in May and you guys are scaring the crap out of me.
If it weren’t for naps, I would have run screaming from the house like a madwoman long ago. Well, that, and the drinking. The drinking helps.
My boy stopped napping, but he’s never really slept at night either, so the level of chaos pretty constant. Anyway, good luck with that.
How ’bout an 18-month old that refuses to nap? Too much runnin’ around to do, and other toddler stuff. Ah, those were the days. That 18-month old has grown into an 11yr-old night owl who, if I let her will stay up til the wee hours watching TV or whatever. Summertime’s great let me tell ya.
Wait, really?
Your wife suggested that the toughest thing you do all day is feed a toddler lunch?
Unless you also have a nanny, that just ain’t right.
The Wife is more sympathetic than I made her out to be. So please don’t the wrong idea– she knows changing diapers is worse than lunch :)